Got a toothbrush?
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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