If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
