i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
