Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
