Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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