Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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