i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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