A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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