I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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