why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
