If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize