Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
