i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
