porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
