I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
