hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
