You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
