Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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