she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
