there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
