the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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