I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
