ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
