Soap is not a condiment
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
