Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
