He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
