Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
