I wanna bring you to show and tell
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
