the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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