This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
