So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
