Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
