I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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