please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
