I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
