Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
