I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
