i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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