So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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