Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
