I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
