i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
