I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
