ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
