Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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