Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
