Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
