I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
