Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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