STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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